I know this isn’t always a happy day for some people. Hearts are tender critters and there are so many ways they can be wounded and bruised. I am very blessed that I met my husband when I was in my early 20’s. I was “damaged goods” when we met and he was a product of the 60’s which made him less judgmental than he should likely have been. His mom was terrified of me and deeply disapproving – though she tried hard to overcome fears for her son. I hope that by the time she passed away she had some peace about it. I’ve changed a lot since meeting my husband. It was through him that God introduced me to Christ and the saving grace for which I am so grateful today. I’m not sure how or why, but I truly believe that God connected the two of us. Although we have some of the same communication gaps and issues that any humans inevitably experience, overall my life with him has been a blessing through and through. I marvel at (and sometimes struggle over) how incredibly kind and loving he is to me. I feel deeply unworthy most of the time (old baggage) and yet he persists. I think that is a God thing.
Today is also our son and his wife’s 2nd wedding anniversary. They seem so very happy and that is always a balm to a mom’s heart. We wish we saw more of them, wish lots of things, but that is just the way parents (and probably mainly moms) always feel about their kids. They are literally part of you, then separate but more dependent than any other creature you have known or will ever know, and then (if all goes well), they are independent and on their own trajectory. Sometimes it feels like they have left you behind. And that hurts. Sometimes it hurts A LOT. But most of the time, you are proud to see them taking flight – as they are designed and should do.
What I am finding hard today is that I cannot seem to find my footing to move forward. I’m a bit “stuck”. I’m getting ready to take a class this weekend called “Focus on Your Success – Building a Vision Board”. It’s something I have never done and I’m hoping it will be the catalyst to help me define where I want to head this year. I’ve got such a blessed foundation. I have Christ. I have my loving husband. I have a few good friends. I have a son and a daughter-in-law who are healthy and happy. I have a home. I have food. I have enough money to go have a Valentine lunch with my sweetie. Lots of points of gratitude.
My prayer for each of you – and myself – is that we will grow from a wonderfully rich soil of gratitude. That we will recognize growth in ourselves and others and be joyful to see it.
Happy Valentine’s Day!