At the end of 2019, I closed my soaping business (Merry Sherry’s Small Batch Soaps). Last week I sold off all my supplies and equipment. It was really hard to let this business go. It was never much of a money-maker, but I enjoyed the soap making process from beginning to end. I will continue to do a bit of melt and pour soaping for crafting classes I offer, but that isn’t the same as the full-on alchemy magic of cold process soaping.
Last Friday we had to make the very painful but necessary decision to put down our old pug, Mr. B. He was a sweet soul and was adopted from a rescue group when already well into his mature years. We’ve had him in our family for about 7 years. His last year – and especially the last few months – became filled with more and more discomfort and anxiety. He had become blind and deaf and was having issues with bowel control. People who don’t have much experience with dogs find it hard to believe, but animals become “anxious and embarrassed” when they lose control of their habits. We tried to make it as easy as possible – but he was so distraught. On his last day, he stayed in my lap for hours just sleeping – something he would have totally disdained in his earlier healthy years. It confirmed what we knew was inevitable and the visit to the vet actually was a time of relief. We are so grateful to the vet and staff who took such good care of him and who helped him through that transition.
It’s really hard to go through “ending” times. Even when it is the “right” time. Like the deep of winter, it doesn’t feel like there will ever be another “spring”. It seems like things will always be sad and anxious and “less than”.
I’m not going to give a “rah-rah” message here. I’ve learned that, until you have “been there and back”, those messages don’t mean much. Nor am I going to talk about being grateful for what we have versus what we have lost. Most of us give ourselves those messages right away. Sometimes I think we need to go ahead and feel the loss. Honor it as “real” and respect that we cared deeply about whatever has “ended”. To do otherwise tells our heart and soul that what we have lost didn’t really matter – and we know that is a lie.
I am learning that when an “ending” time comes, doing something creative can be a blessing. Somehow, like the first little buds that appear while winter is still in full swing, creativity creates hope. It shines a bit of light into those dark sad corners.
If you are going through an “ending” time, I encourage you to do one small creative thing. It really doesn’t matter what. Pull out a colorful placemat and lay it out on the table where you can see it. Water a plant. Sit down and just doodle with a pencil or pen. Crochet, knit, or embroider a few stitches. Just five minutes here or there. It won’t rock the world, it won’t stop all the pain, but it will help move you forward.
We can help each other on this journey. Please feel free to share here what creative activity helped you when you came to an “ending” time. God bless you on your journey!