Today I’ve been thinking about what I would like to accomplish in the few years ahead. At closing fast on 68, there are certainly more behind than ahead. It isn’t something I like to dwell on, but I know that not facing that fact and reviewing my life and what I want it to be (to the extent I have control), is an important work.
I’m starting out this search by creating a list of things I have done and would like to still accomplish. It is a fun process, in some ways; melancholy in others. I’ve been privileged to be active in many creative pursuits, but I constantly struggle under the frustration that I have never had a real “focus”. My husband tells me that is a blessing because it has allowed me to enjoy so many different types of creative pursuit. But I look at his creative life which has been devoted to pen and ink, and the extraordinary work that has flowed from him because of his focus, and I cannot help but feel lacking. I need to make peace with those self-criticisms because they do not inspire me to be more creative and they are simply unproductive. I cannot change the type of creative that I am – I must find a way to be at peace and let the type that I am have its reign.
Insofar as what I would like to accomplish, I am frustrated a bit. The pandemic has left me solitary – and that, frankly, has been very difficult. I am SO BLESSED to be locked in with the man I love and enjoy and I know many others are in horribly challenging situations. I have friends who have lost their beloveds in this time – and what would be worse than isolation in the face of such loss?!
I have spent far too much time watching TV mindlessly and that, too, saps creativity. I’ve been sitting on the couch so much my rear end is sore! So that has to be corrected right off the bat. Any hope of a creative life requires that we be as physically fit as our circumstances and health permit – and that is on my list as a CREATIVE effort now – not just physical.
I’ll come back and post more about this as I move forward. In the interim, I want to encourage anyone on a similar journey to have a look at the beautiful and useful printables that are created by Brittany de Leon of Paper Trail Designs. I’ve not met Ms. De Leon or seen her work previously. I stumbled across her website in a search. I like that her designs are spare and yet pretty. A very nice graphic balance that is hard to achieve. Her work is lovely. Check it out.